Large Family Logistics (the long, and incomplete version)

In every family, there are rules, standards, and expectations. In large families, the schedule gets a little simpler, yet more time consuming. Therefore, a mom and dad spend more time managing the system, and making sure no one gets lost in the crowd.

According to my experience and observations of other large families, I'd like to share some insights that many people aren't aware of with respect to large families.
Two things change with large families: 1. the children may adopt the crowd mentality; meaning, they can hide behind someone else, and nothing pertains to them individually, and 2. parents may think of their children as a group, and always count them when going somewhere all together. (in and out of the car, in and out of the store, at parks, Disneyland, theaters, etc.) It's a necessity and nearly everyone does it.

On a day to day basis, there a number of necessities required to make life smooth. As a family, these are the usual physical things like: get up in the morning and make your bed, brush your teeth, brush your hair, get dressed for the day, clean your room including the floor, etc.  Then there's the interaction things between brothers and sisters like: be considerate of who needs to use the bathroom next, finding shoes that match and are yours, gathering laundry and putting it where its supposed to go (wherever that might be), and getting supplies out for meals. Now this might seem ordinary for one or two children, or even maybe three, but add seven more children, and the situation compounds. Kids being who they are, with their different personalities, there will inevitably be a little conflict here and there, that requires a mom or dad to step in and provide direction. If not, chaos ensues and escalates very quickly.

In a smaller family, these usual things might not take very much time. But in a large family, simply because of the number of bodies that are needed to accomplish these simple tasks, it takes a lot longer. Hence, simple schedule, more time needed.
Baths, for example, must be pushed through in a quick and timely fashion so that everyone can get in and out, because there is always someone needing to use the bathroom. The same with making school lunches and laundry! (however, laundry is in its own world) They must be done quickly and accurately.

A dad who works everyday to provide necessities and the occasional luxury is essential to making a large family work, along with the "buck-stops-here" attitude which is rarely questioned.
A mom who stays at home to manage the everyday chores, status of the home, finances, and well being of each child in the home, is also essential to making life run smoother for all.
The two work together (and constantly talk to be on the same page) to provide a standard of love, consideration, and an independence-building place for their children to learn, play, and feel secure.

Everyone has a job to do, or a chore, which 1, helps make the system run more smoothly, and 2, teaches the children responsibility and accountability. Lessons are learned in acquiring a high standard of cleanliness (meaning, you can't leave your dirty socks on the living room floor), integrity (being honest when asked if you washed your hands before making lunches), social appropriateness (meaning, you should be polite when responding to your sister, and not calling anyone names). All this and more, are learned in a large family (and in almost any other size family, as well).

The mother accepts the responsibility of the keeping of the home, and its running smoothly. In a large family, it quickly becomes apparent that simple rules need to be enforced to keep a high standard. There is no slacking, no taking your time and day dreaming in the shower, or watching the water run down the drain while beginning to doing the dishes. A mom learns quickly about time management, and teaches her children how to be the best time mangers, sometimes with an argument, sometimes without. And experience has taught me that keeping one step ahead of everyone else, allows me to give direction and be prepared for the day; this means getting up a bit earlier, getting myself ready, and knowing how the day is to go, before the children wake up. Trust me, it saves time.

Because of the time constraints of running a home with a large family, and helping children individually, there isn't much time for other outside interests. Meaning, there isn't as much time for being head of a committee, or serving as a classroom parent (for more than an hour), or even going on all-day field trips.

At this point, I would like to toss in an observation, that not all moms stay at home and do nothing but housework and change diapers. With teamwork, some moms swap babysitting with friends, and go and do everything they want to. But by and large, moms with lots of children concentrate on the efficient running of their homes, and the happiness of their husbands and children, (with some hobbies on the side, when they have literally, a few minutes here and there!)

As a mom of many children, it is keeping on track, on time, and being happy, that influences your family. It is just what you do, as a normal part of life. So a mom can feel great about teaching a class, if she has the time, or helping at scouts, if she has the time. But if she doesn't have the time, that's okay! Conversations about the activity with her children, keep her involved and close to her children.

When I was young, there was a woman I knew who had ten children. She wasn't in any prominent positions, or wasn't at every activity I was at, but she did occasionally teach a class at church. At the time, I often wondered why she wasn't more involved. Then I had twelve children, and realized that my focus and attention was on my children, not so much on being seen at, and involved in, every activity at school or at church.

One of the most important aspects of being a parent of many children, is being close as a father and mother. When the children see their parents sitting next to each other watching tv, or helping each other cook in the kitchen, and when they see their father opening the door for their mother, it builds a secure foundation for them to feel part of something grand. Mom giving dad a little kiss, the two of them holding hands, smiling, and laughing, are things that set the example for children to not only know that their parents love each other, but also sets the example for them to follow when they get married.

Scents

Have you ever walked through a department store, passed the perfume section and nearly been bowled over by the strong scents, and then finding yourself nearly running through that department?
I agree, it can be quite overwhelming, however, I just love smelling different scents.
Walking into the house after being way for a while, it's nice to smell a hint of flowers. Getting into the car, the scent of cologne; going into the mall restroom, the smell of clean linen; being in the forest, the pine tree smell.
I'm so glad there are room sprays in so many different scents because I like to spray them everywhere. Some hit me with a sourness, others are too woodsy. But I think my favorites are the strong florals, like jasmine and gardenia. My family can handle those scents, only in few and far between occasions, so I use lighter scents. My favorites right now are lavender/vanilla, apple cinnamon, and clean linen.
I love smelling some kind of scent everywhere I go.